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Friday, November 7, 2008

baby and i have made it to 6 weeks!!!!....

I just want to start this post by thanking everyone for their calls, texts, blog comments, facebook messages and emails and I know your prayers!!! If you dont know...today is the equivalent day to when I miscarried in April...Getting past today is really huge for us!! Its 12:30pm and we are still going strong with baby-in-tow :) I am still in my pj's the curtins are closed and we are having a "big love" marathon...i wanted today to be uber stress free!
I know its kinda weird for us to be "telling" people that we are expecting so early, when i have a history of miscarrage....but i checked out this book from the library last week called "Avoiding Miscarriage everything you need to know to feel more confident in pregnancy" The women who wrote it was so encouringing and it was really awsome to read that i was not the only one out there after a miscarrage wondering weird things like... "ohh i should not have had that tuna sandwich last week" or "maybe i bent over too much". Anyway here is an exerpt from the book that encouraged us to "tell people" right away....

Despite beleiving there is no such thing as "jinxes", many of us still prefer not to "tempt fate" by announcing a pregnancy too soon. another reasonthis myth has some appeal is that about 95% of all miscarriages happen in the first three months. waiting until after the high risk period is over should save us from having to explain to people that we miscarried, if that turns out to be the result.
while this sounds logical, it turns out to be misguided, as I discovered. I decided not to tell anyone other than muy husband when I became pregnant after a miscarriage. Thinking it would spare me having to break bad news if it ended badly. Unfortunately, it did end badly, and I realized the flaw in this strategy. What I needed then was support and understanding from my nearest and dearest. While my husband was supportive, he had also suffered the loss and I didn't want him to be responsible for my sole support. I wanted my mother, sister, and my best friends to support me,and knew they would give me the solace I needed. But those were odd phone calls, where I had to tell them I'd lost a pregnancy the hadn'e even known about. They were disconnected from it, much as none of us wanted it to be that way. They hadn't hoped along with me each day, celebrated a little more each week, and then been shocked by the loss when it came. Because I hadn't lived the pregnancy with them, I hadn't been able to share my joys, and in the end I wasn't able to sharer the burden of my loss. Not telling my "suppot group" robed us all of a chance to connect. "Sparing" friends and family sounded noble, but was unwise.


We have been through a loss alone before (last time we had not told anyone!!) and we would never want to go through that again!! So I hope that everyone is ready to celebrate every week with us, because every Friday (thats when my "weeks" change) will be a HUGE celebration to us!!!!! :)

3 comments:

Stephanie said...

Well first of all congrats on making it to 6 weeks! That is so exciting and a big achievement. Having been through 2 miscarriages and Kylie I completely understand the emotions involved in getting pregnant again. It's a very hard decision to tell people, that's why I'm so glad you guys decided to share. That support is very necessary especially after a miscarriage. You all will be in my prayers. I can't wait to get those weekly updates!!! I hope you know that if you need anything (includes just talking) you can call me! Love you!

wornoutwoman a.k.a. Kimberly McKay said...

I couldn't be happier for you two! Jake's been so cute at church yelling it at the top of his lungs. He's already a proud papa and is in love with his baby and baby momma. What great parents you're going to make!

Emma Lee Krueger said...

Congratulations! That is so exciting. Today I am seven weeks pregnant. I have had the same fears of do I tell people or not? I go for my first ultra sound on Monday the 17th, then we fly home to OK that Thursday and we are going to tell our families together. I am so happy for you and Jake. I will be praying for you. I am so happy for you.